Differences Between Men And Women

Now, I have a 20 year experience at being a  boy child. I have lived among women  since I was very young. First my mother and  my sister in the house,then, my female friends, classmates and relatives. So I have observed them quite a while to vouch that in many complex ways women are different from us men (or that we are different from them)-not better or worse just different. And science has helped to undergird this (we will delve into this later).
There is just about only  one thing that men and women have in common, and that is we belong to the same species, that we are both human. We both have a soul, a mind and a spirit. We both feel pain, love,happiness and rejection. We both have have a brain (its nothing short of prosaic) but the way we percieve the world is a tad dismillar: the subjects we talk about, the way we express our  emotions,  how we operate and even the way we love is essentially different.
We've grown up knowing that the only contrast between boys and girls is in their gonads, their reproductive organs. But it is more complex than that.  Female persons can multitask, males can't. Girls love people,boys love things. Women never stop talking, men dont want to be nagged. Ladies want an emotional love, men a physical one. And much more to mention.
What we are taking for granted however is the fact that these differences can take a toll on relationships between the sexes. Women criticize men for being insensitive, uncaring wanting to do sex instead of making love and not listening. Men critize women for talking a little too much and not wanting sex. (But hey the sex part is for married couples).
We all have heard some frustrated people whining that they have had enough with not just a particular individual but with the entire opposite sex. Sometimes it is not even because of unfaithfulness in the relationships. Very often, I just think,  it is because of not understanding what men or women want, how they communicate and how they want to be loved. This is a typical example of how we end up in clashes because of our distinct gender variance.
In this series of articles I will be discussing these differences. And it the end I hope it helps us understand each other and relate better because they stick with us.

Now we begin.


In part 1 I gave you a peek into this subject of the difference between the sexes. And right away I will plunge headlong into the contents in this rubric. So I welcome you to read on:
1.Talking And Language.
Women are great talkers and talking  to them is quite something. You know when she can't talk to you, you are in trouble. It is an imperative tool they use to foster friendship and cope with stress. Female friends bond by talking, the more close they are, the more they each other in a nuanced kind of way: They are acquainted with each other's little secrets, insecurities etc. But for dudes the tack is different. They way of becoming best of friends for them is accomplishing things together. Of course men talk to each other about lots of subjects but it's barely personal stuff.
And they (women) speak way more than men do in words and cues:
We also know the flip side of this tack: gossip.
Contrast a woman's daily 'chatter' to that of a man. He utters just 2, 000 - 4, 000 words and 1, 000 - 2, 000 vocal sounds, and makes a mere 2, 000 - 3, 000 body language signals. His daily average adds up to around 7, 000 communication 'words' - just over a third the output of most women (which is 20,000 communication 'words').
This speech difference becomes 


Fiona: ‘Hi Darling… it’s good to see you back home. How was your day?’

Mike: ‘Good. ‘

Fiona: ‘Brian told me that you were going to finalise that big deal with Peter Thomson today. How did it go?’

Mike: ‘Fine. ‘

Fiona: ‘That’s good. He can be a really tough customer. Do you think he’ll take your advice?’

Mike: ‘Yeah. ‘

… and so on.

Mike feels as though he’s being interrogated and becomes annoyed. He just wants ‘peace and quiet’.






Women can speak and listen simultane￾ously, while at the same time accusing
men of being able to do neither.

Renascence

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever." Psalms 136:1

Firstly, I will say I'm deeply introverted. I don't like stuff about my life flying about  and people making a fuse outta it. People can be horrible, you know. But this tale is a tad different in the sense that it  is a testimony and testimonies are not meant  to be kept. They are meant to be told.

Mark 5:19 - "Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee."

Now, It has been known in a relatively big circle that I have had 'problems with my eyes'. My glasses are a testament to that. But my close friends know it's not just 'problems with my eyes'. They have known that my eyes ache badly- and deplorably, problematically, notoriously badly so.

But it's been more complex than that. I have experienced for 5 fraught years multiple  inexplicable symptoms: itching skin upon exposure to the sun, photophobia, allergic conjunctivitis, fatigue, eye pain, neck pain, back ache, loss of appetite, poor vision, fever, tooth ache, facial pain, falling hair and even occular hypertension (abnormal eye pressure)- almost all of them simultaneously.

All this time I have been trying to treat these symptoms to no avail. The number of times I have gone to hospitals is ridiculously huge. I remember at one time a box of batches of tablets that was prescribed to me, a box the size of the box of bata shoes. Damn!!
And lately I went for a CT scan, exposed my self to noucous radiation, to find if there is a problem in my head. 
Awful, right?

I don't know what kind of sickness this is. It's not Malaria, it's not typhoid, it's not Ebola. It's not a definitive kind of disease.

What has been prominent though is the eye pain , clinically known as chronic eye pain. I have always thought  the other symptoms were its appendages , that the neck and back pain extended from it. I don't know whether I'm right here or not.

I have suffered an egregious pain.I m not putting a stretch to it. I have suffered for real. I could cry sometimes. This mysterious disease has taken its toll me on me. Life has dealt me it's bad hand; excoriated, reduced me piece by piece in a way somebody who's not me can not fully comprehend.

image

Firstly, my academic life.
I was born a precocious kid. And for most of my life I have been ranked in top positions in class. But when all this started the  graph on my transcript started to dip and I could not do anything about it.
The pain I experienced was damaging and almost crippling. Reading become utterly strenuous (until lately) and sometimes even impossible.

In my form 4, I read virtually nothing the year long. I slept or flipped through magazines ,or just pretended to read and shouted 'shut up '-being the class prefect -during morning and evening preps. Sometimes I sneaked to go and sleep. (  I was never caught. I just don't get how ).And during classes I would not concentrate.

Long way after the syllabus was done I was still grappling with the first topics and actually I never did the whole syllabus but I sat for KCSE which I flopped (but not the way you can think) yet I'm no dimwit.
I barely read the set books...
Secondly, my social and spiritual life.
This nagging, hardworking pain changed my social life also. I become unusually silent and withdrawn. I become loggy and grouchy. I also become a blithering idiot.
My spiritual life also went faltering.

BUT THINGS HAVE CHANGED JUST AS MYSTERIOUSLY.

I'm overexcited or perhaps rhapsodical about my renascence. I mean I have never felt this way for such along time.

It's my fifth day feeling whole again, after what seemed like a lifetime of dreariness, pain and torment.
It's hard to be believe I can wake up without squinted eyes, without duels with light that made me feel like 'passing out', without notorious back , eye, tooth and facial pain.
And also this is the fifth day I have had real sleep.

Right now I'm on medication of a godsend wonder drug.

Let me explain.
In our church-I'm a Seventh Day Adventist-we believe in medical missionary work ,that is, using naturopathic means to heal maladies: use of simples juices and vegetables, hot water baths etc

Now last week after church I bought a strange reddish brown powder from a medical missionary. He is a professional doctor but he deals in this sort of unlikely medicine, now which is the ideal medicine.

To him I explained my symptoms: the eye pain, the back, neck, tooth pain. He just told me those are allergies, allergies simple as that! And then he prescribed the wonder drug; 'One tea spoon in a glass of very hot water, cover for 20 minutes ×2 daily, morning and evening.'

You know I have gone to hospitals, many of them, but no doctor really diagnosed my problem. In fact they told me I'm not allergic.

I'm recuperating.
And this healing can not be called anything else. It's a miracle.

Thank you God for this miracle.
You had a reason for my pain and you know why it had to be me. It is your handiwork. I will never forget!!

Not Old Enough

I have just ‘finished’ writing my new book dubbed, Thrills and Chills. And I’m 20. It has been painstaking, tedious and daunting. It has been hard work but now I’m done with it. One of my regrettable failures is that I took so long to reach the back cover. I should have completed penning this lilting muse a year earlier but regardless, it is something I’m infinitely proud of-as a young person. My next move definitely, ultimately would be looking for a publisher.

And this reminds me of Gideon a medical student who doubles up as my friend and a fellow writer. He related to me an odd experience of a very disheartening rejection he once went through after he had prepared his manuscript, just as I have. He was turned down by a number of publishers, not so much because his work had failed- because it hadn’t-but because of his tender age. They told him he was a first-timer and that he was not old enough. They then ‘encouraged’ him to continue writing.

NOT OLD ENOUGH

Of course being turned down is something that’s relatively commonplace particularly when it comes to beginners and it cuts across all the ages. John Creasy, a criminal novelist, for example was rejected 753 times and it had nothing to do with his age. In the context of Gid’s story, however, age was a predominant factor in determining his plight. He was just not old enough.
This story bespeaks in a succinct manner of the horrible sidelining that young people face for being young here in Kenya and Africa as a whole. It is an insidious adultism-repugnant and unprepossessing. 'Adultism is prejudice and accompanying systematic discrimination against young people'-Wikipedia.It goes together with agism and it is almost as deplorable as sexism, tribalism, ostracism and other isms but people don’t talk very much about it.

Young people in this country face adultism and similar challenges in different guises. They are incessantly being told they are not old enough. Here when you are told you are young, ‘Wewe ni kijana tu!’ it is not meant to be a compliment. And even in the way it is said, it is supposed to be condescending. I think this is terrible. There is a certain prejudice, a certain distaste that is unstinted in measure that you are subjected to when you are young.
To many grown-ups the word youth is a euphemism for pretty ugly traits, for vice, for lost direction, for despair. To them we are young and fledgling, young and spoiled, young and good for nothing. I’m willing to contend that we the youth are a hard demographic, that we are vulnerable to a lot of things so I won’t blame them for their disposition very much. We have our own frailties and too often these ugly traits are part of what we are. We do a lot of shady things-generally speaking. We make wrong decisions. We are attracted to false scents and we don’t listen. But we can’t allow ourselves to be defined by this singular descriptor.
I once listed to a ted talk by an acclaimed author and one of the leading voices of Africa, Adichie Ngozi Chimamanda. She spoke about the danger of a single story: how we end up sizing people up from the very few things we know about them. The single story  is damaging not just because it is incomplete but also because it makes one story to become the only story. The single story that is told about young people in many places is that we are fledgling, unfit and not good enough. And it's almost become a stereotype.
But we know of course young people are incredibly smart. They exude stupendous mental and physical strength. Just this week my country,Kenya has launched a large scale offensive to tackle down al-shabaab in Somalia, in something like a revenge mission after its camp got attacked. It is quite fascinating that the troops in the battle field are largely composed of young people, young people who are fighting for sanity and peace. I could wish, also, to talk about Malala Yousafzai, a Nobel Peace prize laureate at only 17. She is an intrepid young woman who is fighting for rights of women and girls. And also of Mark Elliot Zuckerberg who is the CEO of facebook and he is only 30. I think it will be stunning to say that he launched this widely used social site at 20 from the dormitories of Harvard University.
There are countless other exceptional stories of young people who are rooting for change in their communities, youth who have notched uncommon success and older people can not help but drool with envy.
So I think its of great import we listen to these bright narratives as well because they add up to what it means to be young.
Young people grapple with drug and sex addiction, they are slugabeds, they binge-watch but they are also fly, determined and very talented.
We should help them overcome their frailities and leverage their unique skills and talents. We should encourage young ambition not cast it away or mark time expecting it will grow by it self.
I have taken a personal initiative to mentor and goad young efforts. I have a Facebook page known as YOUNGlegacy-Africa mean't for that. Please you can like it.

Is Raving Wrong

Is raving wrong?
Dear Mr and Miss  the short answer is YES.
By now you should have heard of some madling, vicious sex and booze party  that was slated to happen, dubbed project x that sparked public outrage and unsinted derision. Some of it's beckoning lines were: "One night to lose your mind"." No one goes back home a virgin."
I have always known that there alot of things around partying that are flagrant but I didn't quite expect it to escalate to this: blatant, planned-for fornication. No one goes home a virgin.
Oh foolish 'Galatians' who has bewiched you?
It shows just how much  young people and  the society as a whole has sunken down to the abyss of self-degradation and shame and unconsciousness. People these days don't get inside of their brains very much. They are bold in sin. Their sensibilities have become course. And it is fascinating that  they will  have a problem with you if you don't drink, if you don't sleep with women just like they do.
It is quite alarming young people nowadays are obstinate. They don't listen. They 'don't care.' They 'don't give a damn.'
Now talking about parting we will have to contend that partying  has become synonymous with one night stands, drinking, bedlam of loud music, smoking and worse. Even seemingly blameless feasts  like birth day parties are abound with risque activity and intoxication. It happens very often that  a party without alcohol (they call it 'Mzinga') and members of the opposite sex is not a real party.
Now,I'm no stranger to a hyped  class of young people(friends, friends of friends and classmates) who have deluded themselves to think that hard revelling, drinking and smoking shisha is fun. This class thinks of itself as 'cool' but ideally it's the most sorely damaged, desperate and debased  class of all. Just how could someone level all these  manner of unconscionable deeds with fun and glamour? Actually there is an English word for that and that word is foolishness.
One preacher showed a very consistent pattern of what happens in revellings and banquetings. He gave several examples from the Bible and I was stunned. There is music, then liquor, then idolatry or sex/nudity somewhat in that order.
Music, drinking and dancing effectively create an enabling environment for loosing one's control and consequently leading to indulging in perverted practices.
And those who come to parties to drink soda and 'just watch' are just as guilty because it gives them pleasure to watch animal passions manifest.
The dangers of revelling are well documented. It takes a toll on morality, on health and on society.That's why Christianity and Islam don't allow it. This is somewhat a morbid thought but it is true. This every-weekend-at-the-club lifestyle sets a bad prognosis of disease,unwanted pregnancies, troubled marriage,addiction, prodigal spending, aging and a early grave. That's why I feel strongly that raving is something that we young people need to avoid.

The healing that comes through tears.

( Warning! This is a long read).

Appreciating the woes of life.

Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared and success achieved.- Hellen Keller.

'Cause what if Your blessings come
through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through
tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless
nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

Laura story
The chorus is of a song known as ' Blessings' in an album under the same.

(Behind this song, or rather this chorus, is a story of unsparingly harsh agony that hit, Laura Story, a top ranking gospel singer, really hard. Her husband got diagnosed with a brain tumor, barely 2 years into their marriage. I suggest you read it once again and pore over it while keenly listening to the voice in the song.)

I ask myself quite often ' why does life suck so bad?' Or rather 'why me?' And it leaves me in doubts, fears and tears. More than occasionally, when things go wrong and nothing seems to work out,I become a conscientious grumbler. Sometimes I become so bitter and cry so angrily because you know life can get so so unfair. Losing a loved one, getting robbed or suffering a notoriously painful stomach ulcer are not exactly gleeful things that happen. Such are woes that tear me apart and even more unfortunately life is full of them. Yea for all of us.

At one instance, I remember, covering myself in a blanket in my bed and sobbing all night. This was my lowest moment in high school. I was going through an exceptionally difficult time and nobody seemed to care. It was an emotional pain eerily laced with physical torture.  I had numerous batches of different tablets to take to relief a pain that was eating me up like a cancer. Now ratchet it up with insanely low exam results ,as intelligent and smart as I was, tumbling down to the bottom of the class,and there you know I was a morose sufferer going through a grinding depression and the aching of life. And it made me cry.

Life's full of hard times, dark times and up-and-down times not just for the poor but for the rich, not just for losers but for the winners. Pain and loss is an experience we all share but most of the time we don't get the reason why it has to happen. We don't know it's intended purpose in our lives.We barely perceive the healing that tears bring. What we don't understand is that, it is good sometimes life sucks. We are not specimens of torture. That's not what we are. We are learners and life, the teacher.

“Suffering, I was beginning to think, was essential to a good life, and as inextricable from
such a life as bliss. It’s a great enhancer....For happiness. Each time I encountered suffering, I believed that I grew, and further
defined my capacities – not just my physical ones, but my interior ones as well, for
contentment, friendship, or any other human experience.”
― Lance Armstrong, Every Second Counts

The best things that ever happen.

Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly to the best things that will ever happen to us- Anonymous
You have heard it many times people appreciate ' that was the best thing that ever happened to me' Or you have heard a guy tell his sweetheart:' you are the best thing that ever happened to me.' It's a common phrase in conversations ranging from petty to amorous dialogues. Our tribulations can turn out to be 'the best things that ever happened' as well. Obviously, it's never all romantic to stand between a rock and a hard place. You know it's awful to fail in exams, to get fired, to get sick or to be heartbroken but this things can come off as great inspiration that can change our lives completely. It may not seem a blessing as such,so immediately, and it doesn't come so easily, but in the long run it happens,frustrations and tribulations are great opportunities.

Here is one amazing story of an amazing achievement by an amazing trailblazer:

Let me briefly introduce you to the late legendary Steve Jobs, well recognized as a computing prodigy. Before his passing away, our hero was the CEO and the founder of a lucrative business, the Apple company.( We won't delve so much into his life except to extract life lessons that are relevant in this context). It.may be interesting to know Jobs was a college dropout. He quite college to follow his heart, and it was a daring thing to do. During his commencement speech at Stanford he narrated,
"It wasn't all romantic.( That is,after the dropout)
I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy
food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. "

Unprecedented as it was, dropping out of school and sleeping on floors in friends' rooms made all the difference in his life.He founded Apple.
Yet still, an incabula of tragedy was brewing. Jobs was later fired from his own company by the co-managers who ran the business with him. It was both insane and downright devastating. After a few months imbued with emotional pain, humiliation and self loathing, he decided to start over again- to create a new beginning. (By the way, Jobs came to acknowledge that this few months of anguish were his most creative moments. We will look at the link between adversity and creativity soon afterwards). Five years later he started two prolific and lucrative companies which he named Next and Pixar.

"I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me."

My revered reader, our challenges, achings, misfortunes, disappointments, are sometimes, or can always be, the best things that ever happen in our lives. But it doesn't come automatically. It just doesn't come that way. That's why we should learn to fight without giving up and anticipate without flinching and without  loosing hope. Just as for Steve, your hardships can turn out to be ' the best things that ever happen.'

The Great Chicago fire of 1871 was ' a calamity without parallel in the world history' according to Chicago Tribute. Lasting for more than a day, that is from Sunday to Tuesday, the fire razed down the wealth the town had accumulated for 30 years. It was a big blow to all the people of the city of Chicago .Since it destroyed much of the city's. central business district,It was particularly a huge misfortune  to the merchants whose stores were brought down to ashes incurring terribly immense losses. Field Marshall was among them. But the whole of this accident came to bless him. He later bult a towering store which now stands as the second tallest store in the world. If it were not the fire,its very likely, and almost certainly the magnificent store, a landmark building, could not be existing anywhere in the world.

Adversity gives you a story to tell.

Tell me, which biographies are engrossing and interesting to read? Definitely. Those of persons who have had a tough life full of scary, backbreaking challenges and occasional victories. To people, such as an inventor who fails thousands of times before his or her innovation,or a freedom fighter who lives behind bars most of his life, nothing in life comes easy. Life stories of self-made victors who succeed against terrible odds, are compelling and truly encouraging. As Theodore Roosevelt will put it:

"Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering."

Adversity, in all its guises it turns out, is the compelling force behind extraordinary action. It is the motivation that backs the achievement of highly accomplished individuals. Behind every successful man lies a narrative of pain and struggle. These folks momentarily meet obstacles, which most of the time, are stiff and painfully demoralizing but the inspiration that drives them to lofty heights of accomplishment is sourced from these very encounters.
Benjamin Carson.
John Milton.
Benjamin Franklin.
Carl Brashear.
And many others.
These great names have gone down into history, not because of power or sheer luck, but because of their life stories, and by extension, the stiff odds that gnawed at them. Amazing achievers have had their most outstanding attainment during and after their darkest hour in the chambers of sorrow. To them frustrations and heartaches,become the turning points in their lives. There are numerous stories of highly accomplished persons, in history few of which have been told in this book. These biographies reassert this idea that I'm trying to put across.
Clearly, it appears hardship-or rather the overcoming of hardship- plays a major role in the success of trailblazers of every stripe.So don't freak out. Don't fret. Your anguish might be what it takes to drive the wheel to success. Only take advantage of unpromising circumstance. Turn around the obstacles and 'make lemonade when life offers you lemons.'

Misfortunes and the heartaches of this life can bring the best in people, and conversely the worst. Pain changes people for better or for worse. It can change a fledging, naive person to a strong and courageous person. And on the other end of the spectrum,a devout and pious Christian to a smoking meathead. Such is the power and potentiality of meeting challenges. It can make or break, build or destroy. Let's dwell on positive tendencies for this time.

Having grown up in streets, adults who grew up there would not like anyone to go through the same fate. It's because, they can feel it. They know how bad it feels, so they fight to bring sanity to street children. Hardship inspires compassion. Each disease teaches the value of of leading a healthy lifestyle. Heartbreaks teach the value of faithfulness and understanding.Being broke teaches the value of economy and frugality. Death teaches the value of life. Failure teaches the value of discretion and hard work. Each mistake has a lesson. Each heartache has an essence. Each punishment is a correction. Each pain has a mission to accomplish. Each aching is a moment of self-discovery and an opportunity for reconstruction.That's why our trials and tears are all important to us.

As we struggle against odds or get chastened in the spiritual realm, our relationship with almighty is deepened. Every time we pray for help, when in trouble,we see his power made more manifest and we soon learn to hide behind His cross. Fire burns the dross away and leaves us with finer attributes of godliness in the body and in the soul. These problems are the mallet in God's hand to shape us to maturity and righteousness. As thus it is written," my brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into diverse temptations."- The Holy Bible.

I read this comment beneath a blog and found it so inspiring. It goes "you are right about hardship with the right attitude it can really make something magnificent. I fought cancer twice growing up and it has often been a source of courage and understanding as I've come to reflect on my own writing. However some people don't understand the benefits of hardship and allow it to destroy them personally."

The tragic formula to success.

Why is pain such an inspiration to success?
You have to get out of your comfort zones and struggle in order to beat the odds. Take the case of a poor person, he/she is spurred to create wealth, almost solely, to stave off hunger and below-average living conditions. He/she can put immense effort and sacrifice than it's possible if he/she we snuggling up in a comfort zone. Many people lose hope on the way, but it's these tragedies that usually drive people insane. It drives them to take big chances and push beyond their elastic limits. Except for severe cases, challenges of life be truly a great gift.

Adversity and creativity.

"It is a fact well observed that men have written good verses under the inspiration of passion who can't read or write well under other circumstances" - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

First in the list put Steve Jobs whom we have discussed already- some minutes earlier. After getting sacked from Apple, a company which he founded, and facing the hell of life he got 'freed to enter one of the most creative periods of his life." He started two other companies and later got back to Apple because it happened they could not do without him.
 
An epic illustration of all time, of the creative power of tragedy is Edgar Allan Poe, famous poet and writer and a big and popular name  in the American literature. This is a review of his tragic biography:
“Tragedy visited him early and often, [and] did nothing to thicken an already abnormally thin skin.” He loved and lost an endless string of women, beginning with his mother, who died when he was 2. The love of his adolescent life — an older woman, the mother of a schoolmate — “died insane” when he was 15.....An unsurprisingly macabre teen, Poe spent much of his time at her grave." TIME magazine, a 1934 issue.
When finally Poe decided to get married his fiancee got engaged to someone else while he went to school at the University of Virginia. He eventually got married at age 27 to a thirteen year old cousin who unfortunately suffered tuberculosis and breathed her last.

Clearly, Poe was followed by heart-crushing grief and much heartbreak. Such was the life of a sensational writer whose publications including. novel 'The Raven' become a sizzling menu that America was ever served. His biographers credit his magnificence to the eerie accidents of life that he experienced.

John Milton wrote his famous poem 'paradise lost' when he was blind.

Ludwig Van Beethoven composed while he was deaf.

We know of course, not all that are crushed by grief or misfortune end up becoming writers or achievers of any stripe. Some allow adversity to break them-not make them. Since, success depends on improvement of opportunity, and misery is that opportunity, these people who allow odds to crush them are doomed by their own decisions to become losers. It all depends on how you get to look at it. Set backs to many people become stumbling blocks but, to a rare class of people such as the one reading this book,they become stepping stones and amazing enhancers that mould people in every respect.

The choice is yours.

OTHER VOICES.

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly
disguised as impossible situations.
- Charles R. Swindoll ...

Every calamity is a spur and a valuable hint.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

This is the night that makes me or breaks me.
-William Shakespeare-

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes
taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
-Anne Bradstreet-

Every heartache,every failure, carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.
- Napoleon Hill-

When life gives you lemons, make
lemonade"

BE YOUR OWN FIRST CLASS.

Nobody wanted to be a sweeper. In our class back at school nobody wanted to be  a dish washer. I mean-how could  one even imagine of being one? This is what everyone wanted to be- the most sought lawyer,an high profile engineer or a top neurosurgeon.In collective terms our class was that of big thinkers;big brains that had just met.Everyone was above average.I admit I got to meet fellow genii. Every body wants to be exceptional and at the very top. What everybody wants is first choice,first rate,first world and first class. It is the dream of every pupil and student to get a well paying job,and of course, a white collar job.I think that is a brilliant idea. Every dream is valid.

BUT WELCOME TO REALITY.
Because in our country there are many tertiary institutions and given that education is being  greatly encouraged, most of these students get to graduate. But very few  secure top ranks and illustrious jobs. Many fall in the middle class either employed or self-employed. And in the lower quartile we always have street sweepers,cooks and dish washers. All those people may have sat in the same classroom but in the end they are different by a huge margin.

Everyone has good brains,good  talents and spiritual gifts. Daniel can stand in front of the class,state Faraday's second law of electrolysis and discuss in great detail the continental drift theory but he can not paint as well as Justine does.
Princewill is a brilliant poet. He writes poems in the likeness of William Shakespeare. Kambua is a marvelous singer,Eric Omondi is a wonderful comedian and DJ Afro makes movies surprisingly interesting. David Rudisha may have not broken any class room record but he is the fastest man in the 800 metre race in the whole world. But what makes them a success?

Princewill, Erick Omondi and Rudisha have found what they are truly good at, focused on doing it well and by putting immense effort and passion, they have a place in the world.
“Your work is going to fill a large
part of your life, and the only way to be
truly satisfied is to do what you believe
is great work. And the only way to do
great work is to love what you do. If
you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.
Don’t settle. As with all matters of the
heart, you’ll know when you find it.”-Steve Jobs.

In my life, I have come to make a very hard conclusion.However hard I try,however much the effort somebody will always outrank me. Whether financially, socially or intellectually somebody is always better than me.
Sometimes let's accept it. A Nokia 1110 can never be an Sony Xperia however much it tries. Instead it should find what it is good at.It should know its cheaper and sale more than an Sony Xperia ever will.
That is not a pessimistic point of view.Actually, it is the real point of view. In his speech ,Three Dimensions Of A Complete Life ,Martin Luther King echoes this idea that                                                                     
"If you can’t be a pine on the top of a
hill
Be a scrub in the valley—but be
The best little scrub on the side of the
hill,
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a highway just be a trail
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or fail—
Be the best of whatever you are.hill
Be a scrub in the valley—but be
The best little scrub on the side of the
hill,
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a highway just be a trail
If you can’t be the sun be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or fail—
Be the best of whatever you are."
Be your own first class.